


Whistles and Pyreflies

by StarshipDancer



Category: Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: Comfort, Denial, F/M, Grief, Macalania woods is an asshole, Mentions of Baralai, Mentions of Character Death, Mentions of Gippal, Mentions of Tidus, Rikku yells at some woods, Slight spoilers for the end of x-2, things are too quiet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:30:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6714217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarshipDancer/pseuds/StarshipDancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If whistling and visiting Macalania worked for Yunie, maybe it would work for Rikku, too? If only things weren't so damn quiet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whistles and Pyreflies

**Author's Note:**

> Migrated from FF.net. I've done some minor editing, but please forgive any mistakes I might have missed. I was quite young when I wrote this.
> 
> I won't lie. Rikku/Auron is my guilty pleasure ship.

My boots crunched quietly into the soft grass as I approached the small pool of glistening water in the depths of the Macalania Woods. I felt stupid— _really_ stupid. Even so, as stupid as I felt, I kept my head held high as dignified as I could.

_The way he always did._

_No, Rikku! Stop it!_ I blinked my eyes rapidly to halt the sting of tears in their tracks. Macalania would disappear soon, and then I'd lose my chance. My courage couldn't falter. It was now or never, and as much as I would have prefered never, this was something I had to go through with.

"Why do you want dropped off in Macalania?" Paine had asked in her usual, cool voice, and her ruby eyes narrowed at me critically.  "Yuna's expecting us in Besaid soon."

I waved my hand nonchalantly. Everyone always seemed to think that I was a danger to Spira without someone to supervise me. Here I was, a full-blown adult, and they _still_ treated me like a five year old! 

_It's because you act like a five year old...._

"I'll be fine," I lied smoothly with a grin on my face. "I've just got some unfinished business, ya' know? Gotta go take care of it." I put my gloved fists on my hips in a stance of defiance and raised my chin, daring Paine to continue her unwarranted interrogation. "I never bugged you when you wanted some privacy! Of course, you can be kinda scary and unapproachable, but that's not the point!"

"Okay, I got it." With a dismissive roll of her eyes, Paine interrupted my rant before I could get to blackmail her with the sphere I found under her pillow of Baralai (I really wanted to blackmail her with that, too). "You want to be alone. So go, be alone. Radio the Celsius when you want to be picked up."

Now, I sat down in the grass and pulled my legs up against my chest. Macalania was quiet—so quiet! Annoyingly quiet! The deafening silence unhinged me. How Yunie did this day after day was beyond me.

_Sweet shoopuf, I feel like an idiot!_

I swallowed, my spiraled green eyes dancing over the calm surface of the water. I felt jittery; such peacefulness wasn't normal to me. I preferred excitement, suspense! When I released my breath, the sound of my exhale lingered in the air until the silence swallowed it, too. Nobody else was here. Nobody would be listening.

But I wanted _him_ to be listening….

I hummed the Hymn of the Fayth before I began. The familiar melody calmed me down a little and renewed my meager courage. Yevon knew I needed my courage to do this….

"So, um… Yunie used to come here when she thought of Tidus. I guess she had a good reason, and I really don't, but this is the only place I know to come to." I paused, listening to the quiet response of the woods. Swallowing again, I moved my toes a bit and focused on the dull scratch they made in the dirt. Already, I felt my throat beginning to tighten.

"She'd come here and whistle for Tidus. That was their thing, ya' know. Whistling. She used to whistle in Luca too, and on the beach in Besaid. She whistled everywhere. I never knew when we was gonna whistle next! She'd whistle for him more when she came here. She'd tell me 'n' Paine to leave her alone for a couple minutes—Paine's our partner in sphere hunting, by the way. We're notorious! _We're_ the Gullwings! We even saved Spira again! Are you proud of us? Proud of… me?"

Silence again. It was driving me crazy. This was why Yunie had the strength to fight her aeons, to tell Shuyin Lenne's feelings. This was why she was stronger than me. I couldn't even deal with a little peace and quiet. I felt stir-crazy, as if I might explode at any minute.

"Tidus came back, ya' know. After we fought Shuyin, Tidus came back. Yunie was so happy! I haven't seen her smile like that before." I grinned at the lake, the bittersweet memory still fresh in my mind. Yunie's beaming as she threw her arms around Tidus, the two of them hugging each other like they'd never let go.... "I was happy, too."

Frustrated, I realized I needed to do something, needed to move even just a little. I decidedly shoved the heels of my boots into the pale tufts of grass, uprooting it. The forest wouldn't mind. After all, it'd be vanishing soon. A little upturned grass wouldn't make any difference.

"When… when I saw Tidus was back, I thought… I hoped maybe you… maybe you would…." _No! Don't start doing that to yourself!_ I swallowed again, wringing my fists together against my bare knees. I shut my eyes for a moment, regaining my faltering composure before I could bear to continue. This was harder than I thought it was going to be.

"There's a guy, ya' know. His name's Gippal. He runs the Machine Faction at Djose Temple. We grew up together. We dated a little, too. A long time ago. What do you think about that, eh? Gippal.  _Flirting_. With _me._ _You_ never flirted with me, and now some guy with an eyepatch's beat ya' to it!" Auron kinda had a bad eye, too, and I thought it might have been the  _same_ eye. Maybe I had a type?

The woods remained still ever silent. _Quiet_. Quiet, quiet, quiet—it's all I was going to get! I irritably rubbed my legs with my hands, the open fingers of my gloves giving my nails the opportunity to scratch my tanned, Al Bhed skin. This wasn't working. Actually, I was pretty sure coming here had made everything _worse_. All it was was quiet! I was going to explode. I was going to explode, and the stupid forest didn't care one bit. Stupid forest. Stupid Machalania. Stupid, stupid, stupid....

"Was it the whistling?" I asked to no one in particular, my trembling voice raising. The trees didn't move; the _wind_ didn't even caress the branches by way of answering. Why weren't there any birds? Did they all leave, knowing the imminent demise of their home? Or was it just  _too quiet_? "Did Tidus come back because Yunie cared for him enough? Because Yunie kept whistling for him? Is that why, huh? Is it!?"

My desperation grew, my chest heaving loud breaths that disturbed the noiselessness. I cried out in exasperation. _I couldn't take it anymore_. I needed noise, any kind of noise. Loud noise, soft noise, anything! I snatched a nearby rock and threw it at the lake. It skipped across the shimmering water, only making gentle plopping sounds. I waited, listening as the uneven tones of the lapping water faded away into unbearable silence once more.

_It wasn't enough._

"You… you…." My fists clenched, quaking uncontrollably, nails digging into the fabric of my gloves. I still had the strange, impending feeling that I was going to combust in the near future. Angry, I grabbed as many stones as I could carry in one hand and got to my feet. " _YOU JERK!_ " I screamed at the empty water. I threw the pebbles as hard as I could at the eerily still surface. These ones didn't skip over the water like the others; they merely dropped to the bottom, sinking like any hopes that she might find respite in the dying wood.

"You left! You just disappeared! Who the hell just disappears like that, huh? You stupid old man! I hate you! Why did you even bother with me if this is what you were gonan do in the end? Why did you have to leave me!?" The infuriating tears came again, the same way they always did when I thought of him—memories of his stern, gruff voice, his musky, spicy scent, the warm taste of his lips on mine in a chaste kiss to distract me from the thunder. I had been just a kid on that pilgrimage, but I knew from the moment he forced me to look him in the eyes that I loved him. And he loved me. He never said it, but I knew. How could I not know? How could I not… not….

Then, he left. Vanished. Poof—in a cloud of pyreflies.

Without thinking, I raised my hand to my lips. I whistled as loudly as I could, which wasn't very loud in all actuality. Yunie was much better at this than I was, but that didn't mean I planned on giving up. I whistled again, and that one had more volume. I would've kept whistling until my throat hurt, too. Until night had fallen, and the permanent echo of my whistling haunted Macalania until it existed no longer.

A voice as soft as a whisper reached my ears. "Rikku…."

I jumped, startled, and considered for a moment that I'd finally lost my noodle. Disappointed, I spun around to narrow my wet eyes at my fellow Gullwings. Whatever happened to privacy? We never bothered Yunie whenever she wanted to come here and mourn, so why didn't I get the same treatment?

Paine's face showed pity. She didn't get it. She would never get it. She had all her friends, everyone she cared about and loved, right at her disposal. Yunie's face, however, showed the emotion that I needed to see: understanding.

I bounced for a moment on the balls of my feet, the urge to shatter winning out at last. The tears I'd been holding in for so long finally overflowed from my eyes, and I threw myself into Yunie's opened arms. She held me as I cried, my whole body wracking with painful, broken sobs as I struggled to come to terms with the truth that he was gone. Dead. He wouldn't magically reappear like Tidus because he wasn't a dream of the Fayth. 

He was  _gone_. 

"It's so hard, Yunie! How did you do it?!" I wailed, my demand sticky and rough with sobs. "How did you come here all the time and whistle for him?!"

"It was hard," Yunie murmured to me soothingly, her hand rubbing measured circles on my back. "I had to convince myself that if he had any way of getting back to me, he would. It was difficult for awhile, but I knew I had to keep smiling. Life would leave me behind if I didn't. I had to keep smiling." Her words made sense to me. If I hurt this much over  _him_ , I could only imagine the pain Yunie went through with Tidus. And  _they_ had actually confessed their feelings.

"Yeah, but you're stronger than me. I've tried pushing him outta my head, but nothing's working. I can't move on. It's been three years since he... I'm starting to run out of smiles." I moved a hand up to brush at the tears coming down my cheeks, but they just kept coming. Crying was funny like that; I'd gone three years without crying about him, and now I just couldn't stop. 

"You? Run out of smiles?" Paine chuckled humorlessly, the wry turn of her lips forced and nervous. She'd never seen me so unwound, and I thought I might've scared her. Good. That's what she got for running to Yunie and invading my privacy. "I figured the Calm would be over before you ran out of smiles."

I looked at her abruptly and pursed my quivering lips. I hated to admit how right she was. I held the Gullwings together. Hell, I practically _made_ the Gullwings. I had to find the will to keep smiling. People were counting on me to do that.

Still… how many nights would I find myself dreaming about his calm, hard face and a remotely gentle gaze that was only for me?

 

* * *

 

The stars and moon only just illuminated the dark of the night. Everyone else had gone to bed, but I couldn't get my brain to shut down just yet. Something was wrong. All of Besaid was _quiet_.

Stupid quiet. It was following me now, taunting me with its ways.

I slipped out of the small hut undetected. Yunie and Paine thought I was going to be okay; I'd been convincing enough when I reassured them with fake enthusiasm and lots of bouncing. I didn't need them thinking that I wasn't all right. In a way, I wished they hadn't found me in Macalania. Yelling at the silent abyss had been really theraputic. _Maybe I should have breakdowns more often…._

Of course, I could just yell at the ocean. That might work? Just not as well. Macalania held significance. The ocean was just the ocean. It would still be there in the morning, judging my deepest secrets with each roll of its waves. It was still better than nothing.

I sat in the soft, slippery sand and stared out at the calm sea water. It wasn't quiet here, and I liked that. A lot. The water here _lapped_. Lapping was good. That was more than Macalania had ever given me. _Take THAT, vanishing woods!_

I didn't want to talk anymore. What more was there to say? _I miss you, I love you, please come back to me_? He wouldn't appreciate the desperation. 

No, I needed to do something, something to get my mind off of wanting him back.

I hopped back onto my feet, spinning away from the water and sinking into the sand a little. Scratching my chin, my eyes skimmed around the empty beach for something to do. There had to be something—anything!—that could hold my flighty attention. The smallest thing used to entertain me….

Aha! Shinra's Commsphere! Grinning wildly, I skipped lightly over to it. The stupid thing had been offline since it was placed, much to Shinra's dismay. I smirked confidently. "We'll see what Shinra says after I fix this silly Commsphere of his!" I knelt down in front of it, putting all my weight on my toes. as I worked

_Yeah, this is nice… fixing the Commsphere for Shinra… listening to the waves… What more do I really want? What more do I really need?_

_Him._

I groaned a little at the thoughts evading my mind once again. "Stop it, Rikku! He's gone! Get over it!" I scolded myself angrily, glowering down at the Commsphere as I tried to rewire it. "That's the good think about Gippal, ya' know? He's not dead. Yeah, sure, he's not old either… That's another perk, I guess…?"

I heard a splash of water behind me, but I didn't bother to look back. Probably a fish or a low-level monster of some sorts.  I bit into my lower lip in concentration. I almost had it. The Commsphere would be up and running in a few seconds if only I could just—

"Owie!" A violent spark shot out of the Commsphere, stinging my fingers with electricity, and my controlled balance wavered slightly. "Oooh! You stupid piece of junk!" I growled at it furiously and shook my hand through the air, wishing the sharp tingling would stop. There were reasons I hated lightening before, and this was one of them! All of my waving was too much, and I widened my eyes as I began to lose my footing.

"Whoa! Wait!" I flailed my arms wildly, trying to stay on my toes, but that didn't work out too well. I felt myself falling backwards, and I cried out. Great. Just great. As if I wasn't having a bad night already, now I'd have sand up my skirt for the next decade. One point for the beach. I slammed my eyes shut and prepared for my graceless landing.

Which never came. Instead, I fell back into two, strong arms. _Oh, no! I've been found!_ I sighed in resignation. Alone time was something that I was not privileged to have, apparently. I was _so_ not letting it go as easily this time. I opened my eyes, ready to pilfer my savior's pockets for disturbing me in my falling. When I caught sight of him, all signs of life in my body froze for a split second.

He looked the same. His glasses were in place, covering up the scar over his right eye. His left arm hung out of his long, red haori as it always did when he fought in battle; instead of heaving a katana, this time, it was being used to hold me up off the ground.

"Holy shoopuf!" I jumped out of his arms and willingly threw myself into the sand. Once I was back on my feet, I backed a little bit away from him, looking him over repeatedly. He stared back at me the way he always did, his good eye filled with mixed emotions of curiosity, concern, and frustration.

"'Holy shoopuf?'" Auron quoted, an eyebrow raised in inquiry. I recognized that expression too. I _always_ got that look from him. That was his _what are you talking about, that's not a real thing_ look. "That's one I haven't heard before." He sounded the same—voice gruff, tone teasing and serious.

I stared at him, my eyes misting over with tears. This couldn't be happening. "Ugh, I'm dreaming again!" I balled my fists up and covered my eyes with them. "Wake up, Rikku, wake up!" I wailed desperately. This was my penance for napping at the beach. I probably inhaled some salt water or something that affected my brain. "I can't do this again! _Fyga ib!_ "

"Rikku." He took my arms in his large hands. He was _touching_ me. I never got to touch him in my dreams. What was this, some kind of torture? _This is what I get for screaming at fading woods! This is about the grass, isn't it?! I'll never do it again!_ "Rikku, please look at me." That was a change, though. The Auron in my dreams didn't talk so seriously.

"No!" I objected firmly, my foot stopping in defiance. "The moment I let myself get comfortable, I'll wake up! Well, not this time, buddy! You're not fooling me!"

"Rikku, you aren't sleeping. Look up at me."

"Of _course_ you'd say that! You just want to be cruel! You stupid dream! I hate you! I wish you'd just go away!" Tears flooded from my eyes, streaming down my cheeks in long rivers. I tried to wipe them away, but they wouldn't stop again. I really needed to start crying more. Then maybe I'd develop  _some_ measure of control against my bodily functions.

"Rikku, I'm not a dream," replied Auron curtly. He caught my wrists in his strong hands and pinned them down to my sides. I shut my eyes tightly, unable to look at him. If I looked at him, it would only hurt more when he went away again. "I'm here, Rikku. I'm not a dream. Will you look at me?" He was getting exasperated. I could hear it in his tone and feel it in his tensed  muscles.

I couldn't refuse him. I never could. Timidly, I opened one eye to look at his face, mesmerized by the way the moonlight reflected off his glasses. "What do you want?"

Auron sighed deeply, frowning, but that was right. Auron always frowned in my dreams, usually because of me. By way of replying, he formed a question of his own. "So what does _Gippal_ , of all people, have that I don't?" he asked lightly, trying to make himself seem less concerned about his question.

I blinked, opening both eyes now. Now _this_ was a typical guy move. My dreams had never been so realistic before. I swallowed, blinking back more tears. "A pulse?"

"Is that it?" Auron demanded sternly. I almost laughed. He seemed so…  _jealous._

"Yep," I said thickly, my voice still shaking from the tears that continued to roll down my cheeks. "As far as I know, that's it." Why did Dream Auron need to know this? I didn't understand.

Auron nodded slightly, absorbing this revelation. " I see…."

"It's your fault!" I snapped at him lividly, finally breaking, angry now by his sudden concern, by his appearance, by the very expression on his face. "You left! You left me here all alone and didn't even think about how I'd handle it! You had to go and be selfish--and maybe I'm selfish too--but damn it! I'm not strong enough, Auron! I'm not! I need you, and you don't care! You'd rather move on to the Farplane because you think your job is done! _Well it's not_!"

He frowned at me. "Rikku—"

"No, it's my turn to talk! You walked away. You let Yunie dance for you. You didn't even ask me about my opinion! You didn't ask if I wanted you to stay!" I shook my head bitterly, looking down again. "Now I only see you in my dreams. No, I don't love Gippal. I love you! I've always loved you, and I wish I could stop! "

He was silent for a long moment. Suddenly, I wished I was back in Macalania and not in Besaid dreaming about him. It was easier. I could cry and not feel like a five year old again, because he wouldn't be there to watch me cry.

"I'm sorry for not considering your feelings. I expected your crush would diminish over time and you would forget about me. I may have never voiced it, but I love do you, Rikku. I'm not leaving you again," he promised, his gentle tone solemn and certain. Yeah, Macalania was definitely better. Sure, the ocean made noise, but I was alone there. No silly dream to say empty words to me. I could definitely tell too much time had passed now. I couldn't imagine  _Auron_ ever confessing his love to anybody.

"You'll go away when I wake up," I reminded gloomily. For being a dream, he sure was slow on the uptake.

"No, I won't," he argued, his voice strained with annoyance. I almost giggled. It was so him….

"Yes, you will," I countered. We were arguing, like we always had before. Neither of us willing to give in to the other.

Auron sighed, agitated. He pulled me forward, and I soon found myself lip to lip with him. The kiss was less careful than the ones we'd shared before, less brief. It was meaningful, slow, and I could feel the motion of his mouth ignite my entire body. Even when he pulled away, the sensation lingered on my lips, heady and dizzying. Slowly, I put a hand up to my mouth, realization sinking in.

_He was back_.

"You… you came back…?" I breathed, shocked into motionlessness. 

Auron nodded, relaxing now that we were both on the same page. "The Fayth said that I was needed here. Some brat wouldn't keep her voice down."

"… So you won't go away again?" I asked hopefully, my head spinning. I could feel my veins fill with pure energy. Now, I was  _positive_ that I was going to explode. Right there in front of him. Splat. 

"I'm here as long as I'm needed," he answered gruffly, watching my reaction.

I felt my lips pull up in a grin, and a relieved and thankful giggle bubbled up my throat. "Well, then, _Sir Auron_ , you're in for a full-time job! I'll need you 'til the day I die!" I threw my arms around him, feeling complete for the first time in three years, since that haunting moment when I saw him drift away into the pyreflies. He was sturdy, strong, real.  Auron was back, and he was mine. He loved me. Me, the annoying little Al Bhed girl from Bikanel who like to steal his haori and could finally lift his sword.

Excitedly, I grabbed his hand and tried him toward the village. He allowed it, though he lacked my enthusiasm and chose to walk while I bounced with uncontrollable joy. "Come _on_! We have to tell the others!" I laughed, dragging his lumbering form along behind me. He followed me, unyielding as he set the casual pace, and a smile transformed his stoic features. 

This was _our_ story. And it was far from over.


End file.
